The power of now

Don’t  postpone life till when you have more free time, or till  you have more money. Or till the weather is nicer. Or till you wear jeans one size smaller. There is only here and now. You will never be younger than now, enjoy every moment of it.

P.S. What happend today in Saint Petersburg is horrific. Stay strong and fearlsess. And safe.



What do you wish for?

I couldn’t wait for this holiday- not having any day off since october I was tired enough 🙂

I want just to lie down and do nothing, I thought.

Oh why it’s so easy to gain weight and takes so much effort to lose it. It’s so unfair, I thought.

And here I am, enjoying second week of my holiday. Having fever for a couple days- lie down and do nothing is the only thing I  can do. Lack of appetite helps with the kilos 🙂

The Universe hears me apparently. Next time I will think about how to spend a ton of money.

Tell me why

Why?why? Why? Everybody wants to know. I used to know someone who really liked asking “why” questions, feelikng like it brings the conversation to a new level of depth. And the one who asks the questions to a new level of wisdom.

This question is perfectly fine in business environmnet.”why this supplier? Candidate? Solution?” That’s when ì can say about the cost or skills or money. In this case there is an answer.

But somehow outside the office walls those questions feel overwhelming. It sounds like the person asking is disapproving of my preference. Or i need a logical reason behind my choices and likes.

At the time i wasnt sure if it’s just me so sensitive or those questions are really a  form of attack. And couple days ago i found an article saying exactly that- why is not the best way to have a conversation. Try to replace those with what and how questions. You will notice your companion becoming more relaxed and friendly.

P.s. now i feel so not guilty for giving a mean look to those who can’t help but ask me why not cycling? Why so much make up? Why red and not white?


Monday challenges

Oh my morning started with the alarm ringing in the dark and sounds of rain in the background..apparently my dinner the night before was too salty so I was so so happy I had the patches!

I went for the cheapest option, but still feel like they work!  I like to keep them in the fridge for extra refreshing effect

My initial plan for the night was to go to the gym, but now only thinking of getting out to the cold, dark and wet street makes me shiver!

I guess tea and Internet it is. Unless there is so  magic trick of getting outside without suffering🤔

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I know something about sexy homewear

Saturday night

In so many places all the parties are happening on Fridays, which for me is really challenging-tired after a working week, getting home from the office and doing hair and make up..not working that well for me. That’s why every time  I see a Saturday event I feel the urge to go!

Yesterday there was an Internations party in Amsterdam.I can never miss an opportunity to dress up in the country of dirty sneakers! 20s dress code- what not to love about this 😍

For the occasion  I bought a wonder dress (zara, price less than a dinner out, I consider it the deal of the month 🙂 ))

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With my friend Maike; prosecco makes everythino a  Wonderland!

We have this little joke: last drink is always excessive, but how do you know which one is the last one😅 but no headache today, so I was a good girl!

How was your Saturday guys?? Many cocktails consumed?

Chapter 1. The bag.

The clock is ticking!

…Surprisingly so, the clock that starts ticking for Russian women after 20y.o is not what’s bothering me today 🙂

I was thinking about something else: couple days ago I discovered that in your phone battery setting you can see how much time you spend in different apps. That’s sort of shameful and embarrassing to admit but in the last 24 hours I spent 3h on Fb& Instagram together. In the last 7 days it’s an even higher % of my time. How comes I have all this time??  Or, even worse, what is that thing I could have been doing instead?

Well, some of this time is the time I spend commuting. Sometimes I find something kinda useful, like articles or news or useful tips.

But I keep wondering that if I spend this time learning a language, doing the exercise(although I still do workout couple times a week); or doing a course, or reading a book? I am sure in the long term the gains would be incredible.

On the other hand, I still consider my lifestyle quite active. I work full-time, do salsa once a week, gym 2-3 times, and my social calendar is quite full. Plus  in house activities like talking to family in Skype, cooking, cleaning up, body and facial care.

Won’t adding a couple hours of some activity on top of all of these lead to a some kind of burnout? Especially in the winter months when many people including myself are noticing lower energy levels.

So my idea for now: get something that might help with energy (my mum recommends ginseng ) and see if I can add something more meaningful than scrolling through Instagram to my day. And let’s see if this works!

not sure if tea works as well as pills. Pics are from Holland&Barrett


I woke up like this


On lazy Saturday afternoon, when Utrecht was covered in that 1cm of snow, I was sitting with my friend and her boyfriend in a bar eating some deep fried stuff (Bitterballen are love) and drinking wine.

The conversation was about my 10-minute online dating experience ( aka the gift of finding something wrong with any picture). And then we went on talking about the  power/importance of the looks in the first impression.

And here comes the thunder in the blue sky. The friend’s boyfriend goes like: “Well, I think a girl in sneakers, in a casual shirt, with her hair in a bun and a beer in her hand looks very sexy”. My bitterball gets stuck in the throat: “What?!”

The next day I kept thinking about the sneakers-bun-beer image, and thought it actually can be sexy.. but(!! and this is crucial ) with quite some work on the background.

I agree it’s not always about the high heels, heavy make up and the dress. However, it’s always about being..polished maybe?

Your feet are soft just like a baby, cuticles doesn’t resemble the lifestyle of a homeless, nail polish covers the whole nail (and not like “oh, I should have removed it a week ago”). No hair on the legs is allowed, the skin on the elbows should be soft. The hair should be clean, soft and shine, smelling like a bouquet of fresh flowers in spring.

The face has this healthy glow as if you never got tired in your whole life. Super smooth lips and groomed eyebrows (aka not resembling a warm or a caterpillar).

The body is toned. The clothes fits perfectly. And the sneakers are clean and kinda new.

And ok, if you have all of this that look can be sexy.

P.S. The more I live in the Netherlands, the more I love the Youtubers (quite some are Russian) who keep talking about hair/facials/make up/body. In Russia, no matter how much money you have or how much time you have, there is a bare minimum that is considered to be something just like brushing your teeth. Here the minimum is literally “I woke up like this” and my Russian soul(and eyes) is missing being around women who look “taken care of”  🙂

Thank you 2016

How to leave the past behind?

I guess it’s my wicked mind trying to reflect on the past year as hard as it can. This reflections lead me to red wine and ice cream.
Why is it so that I keep thinking again and again about the failures of the year? It’s just a “bad radio signal” kind of noise in my head. And all the positives seem not so big. Or maybe just not so noisy.
Actually this year was great.
I visited the places that I always wanted to visit. I spend a week in lovely Georgia eating the wonderful food and drinking the best rose in the world.
I discovered that I got true friends in the Netherlands.
I discovered a lot about myself, something it wasn’t anything positive- but as we all know first step to solving a problem is realizing that you have  a problem. As my step counter app says “you are on the way to greatness!”
This year I got my first home.
This year I learned to enjoy time alone and not to feel lonely.
I started doing things that I wanted to do for years-and was postponing for years. Not in am back to dancing. I started colouring a painting. Started doing the group class at the gym and actually, to my surprise, being able to enjoy it.
I had the strength to say goodbye to people who didn’t make my life better.
I learned to make my life better.
Once again I realized what a sweet, loving and supportive family is have.
So..thank you 2016, for all the great and powerful experiences I had this year!

Honesty is the best policy

Guys, let’s be honest.. Btw how honest do you think you are?

What I noticed is that people (including myself) tend to think better about themselves than about others. “Oh I am such a well mannered person, and that I was rude to the waiter today-I was just tired, that’s a reason decent enough”. Such little lies won’t hurt, right?

How about being honest to others? Living in the Netherlands I heard a billion times about ‘Dutch directness’. What I have to say about it is that being impolite/tactless is not that same as being honest, and that’s the confusion for me. I expected the second but keep seeing the first.

And how about being honest with yourself? Not direct, thinking “you fat cow” when looking in the mirror,  but namely honest. Saying to yourself “you are so bored with your life that can’t stop chewing” seems to be a different approach.

How often do you illude yourself? ‘It will change’ you think. ‘it’s tempory’. ‘I just smoke socially’. ‘I really tried’. ‘He will change his mind’. ‘I would have done that if I really wanted’.

To be honest..honesty is scary. Being honest to yourself in many cases means change. Insecurity. Starting from scratch. It’s all really tough. But the risk of not doing that is that one day years from now you will wake up and cry. Because you lived somebody else’s  life. Because of all the opportunities you missed and the time you wasted.

Be honest and tell yourself what you like and what you don’t like. And have the guts  to do something about it. Or to accept that but then be at peace with the situation.

This honesty will save you from major disappointments. And it is never too late to start practicing it! Make it your number one New Year’s resolution. “I will always be honest with myself”. And I will do that too 🙂